Sunday, April 10, 2011

Can God Change an Unchangeable Heart?

Earlier this school year I was driving T, G and M to school and M said something about God changing my heart.  Immediately G said "Don't talk about that, Mom said we cant talk about that!".  With that banter I couldn't help but ask what it was that Mom didn't want them talking about.  No one was willing to tell me so I started getting a little frustrated and finally I got G to crack.  He went on to tell me that mom and the kids have been praying that God would change my heart because I had said since B was born that I couldn't handle anymore kids.  It wasn't that any of the kids were difficult, instead I worried about the college years and my ability to support all these kids. 

Little did I know but Bethany has continued praying with the kids while I have continued ignoring the signs telling me that WE CAN DO THIS.  God has blessed us more than we could have ever imagined, not only with a job in this poor economy but with great benefits.  Over and over I've been thinking about the verse in the Bible (Matthew 6:25-27) which says we shouldn't worry because God takes care of the birds, animals that don't reap or sow.  This week I took T, G, and M on a walk through a forest preserve and we came across a ridge that over looked a river.  I shared with them this verse in Matthew and immediately I admitted to myself that Bethany and I are ready to adopt again!

I'm starting this blog documenting the process of adopting a special needs son from China.  We are planning to keep this quiet as long as we can because of the emotional roller coaster we are about to jump onto.  The kids are in the dark, our parents are in the dark, our friends are in the dark, my employer is in the dark.  When you read this it is because we are almost ready to travel (or either Bethany or I let the cat out of the bag).  Get ready....because God changed what Bethany thought was an unchangeable heart!


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